**tap-tap** Is This Thing On?

We have all heard phrases like "bite your tongue", "think before you speak", "God gave you two ears and one mouth". I, myself, practice these on a daily basis...well I TRY to-how bout that? The bible even gives us a strong warning on what turmoil our mouths can get us into. At some point I think we have lost how much meaning words...no, no, no, not just words-OUR words can have in our lives. The words that are coming out of MY mouth. I think along the way we have been made to feel that keeping silent is the best way. I do believe that in some cases this is true but we have adopted this belief and we carry that silence over in to areas where we don't need to do so. 

Goals, beliefs, ideas, dreams, mottos, changes are often kept silent because we think someone will make fun of us or maybe even judge us by the exact words we have just said. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to ask for forgiveness from someone. It's hard to decide to go back to school. It's hard to tell someone you love them for the first time or the 100th time for some. But I believe that saying it is the first step. Whatever your "IT" is, get it out. Keep saying it. Don't just say it once. Stand on it! Become it. Believe it. 

This has been my first step in the whole "Be Blessed? Be A Blessing!!!" change that I am experiencing. With the issues that I have been facing the past two years I held onto some very destructive, dirty, and disgusting feelings. They held me captive from the person I really wanted to be. They wouldn't allow me to move further. You know what I did...LAID DOWN IN IT. Like a pig in the mud. I stayed there. In my heart I didn't want to be there but I couldn't move. UNTIL I SAID IT!!

I felt in my heart what I had to do and I SAID IT. Well...uh hmm (clear the throat) I AM saying it. I have been telling everyone what changes I want to make. What a difference I want this year and ultimately the rest of my life to be about. I feel there is a power in stating things. Look at how powerful wedding vows are (or are supposed to be). Remember when we took the Pledge of Allegiance every morning-those are powerful words we said. We may not have understood them at 8 years old but we said them...hand over heart...in unison. 

Change isn't easy for everyone. It hasn't been for me. Its easy to stay in the mud. It's hard to decide to be different. It's hard to start making those changes. But do you know what happens when you do? You inspire others. They may not tell you. But again-they may. But regardless, believe me, you are inspiring somebody~somewhere. That my friends is a blessing all on it's on. 

Today I cleared the air with someone that I really hadn't spoken to in almost a year. I decided to put into motion the ME I want to BE. Forgiveness was granted. And in turn it was asked by me to forgive. Say what? Yes. Someone wanted me to forgive them. How humbling (and I only speak of myself) it was to be asked to do that. I was not expecting it. The air feels lighter. Not so thick anymore.

So what does all this mean? What's the point? This will not be a dormant year for this white girl! I have SAID it and now I will DO it. Is it hard? Sure. Staying still...in the same cluster of nothing would be easy for me. Holding on to all of this that has been locked up is just what the devil would want. I don't want him to have the power of me anymore. My words have become my motivation. Telling others about my goals have become my map. Today was a start. But at least the engine is running. I have many, many miles to go. I'm sure I'll need to refuel and I'll bet a dollar that my GPS will scream "recalculating" more then once. But I'm going for it. I was blessed today and I am thankful.