Be A Blessing? Me?

I have heard more in the past year of what a blessing I am then I have in my entire life. I really don't know how to act or what to say when I hear this. It makes me feel awkward. Not many people know that Tina jumped in front of dobermen pinschers that were about to rip my throat out one night. She saved my life-without hesitating too! HA! I realize that not every one signs up to carry a child for their best friend without any strings attached. BUT so many people have said, "I would SO do that for my sister" or "I told my sister-in-law that I would do that for her". It leads me to believe that it's not that I am special but that I was given an opportunity AND I TOOK IT!
Throughout our whole lives we have heard phrases such as: "golden opportunity", "we live in the land of opportunity",  "window of opportunity"...I could go on and on. It's a word that's big and gets misspelled a lot. But it's also a word that could make us have better lives, in my opinion. Lets try and see if we can use it to our advantage.
These past few months I have embarked on some serious soul searching. Learning to let go. Learning to grab a hold. Just plain ole LEARNING! I want to be a better me. I want to give more of myself to others. I want to be a BLESSING to people that I come in contact with in my life. Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. What is a blessing to one person may be nothing to the next. I'm not talking about dishing out money to folks here people or stretching ourselves to the max. Nor am I talking about taking every opportunity (see how quick I threw that in there-you didn't even see it coming) we are given to do for others for our own personal gain or to show others how good we are to people. Blessings can be silent. Blessings can be hidden. Blessings can be private or public. Blessings aren't always about money, or time, or hand written letters, or pretty things. They don't always have to be touchable things either.
I think all of us want to be a blessing to others. We want to be thought of as good, helpful souls that are making someones day better. It's such a nice feeling to know that you made someones world brighter. But I think the first step in "Be A Blessing" is to evaluate our own blessings. How do you count your blessings? Do you do it daily? Or do you do it when something is threatened? Do you focus more on the negative then you do the positive? It's kind of hard to bless others if we first don't see or feel how blessed we actually are in life.
I was slapped in the face one time with a blessing. I didn't even realize or had not even thought of this as a blessing but after it was brought to my attention I give thanks for it every single day. My husband has a crazy work schedule. We dance around each other a lot. Before, it was so frustrating. I would get so aggravated that we couldn't have a "normal" day like every other husband and wife. I was angry until someone brought it to my attention of how blessed I was to have a husband that was WILLING TO WORK. Come again?! Yes. They expressed to me of how many men they knew that WOULDN'T work. Some men that jumped from job to job. Some men whose wives had three jobs just because they couldn't find the right job with the right amount of money. I was shocked. Shocked at my own selfish, petty complaints. From that moment on I began to look at our schedule and my husbands WILLINGNESS to work and provide for us as a true blessing. He works hard to provide for us.
My mama has always taught me to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Sometimes thats hard, aint it? Oh child! It is!!! This world is full of hate. The devil loves dark sided people. We sometimes base our "do unto others" by what they have done to us. We only go as far as they did on the "doing scale". But let me share this with you..."do unto others..." implies that you do the doing FIRST. Don't wait for the action or the reaction.
Maybe I have lost you. Maybe Im getting off track. We may have even missed the turn to the track. So back to the word of the day: opportunity. Take it! Embrace it! There are so many throughout the 24 hour day. Use it. Maybe you have the opportunity to open the door for someone, compliment their clothing, forgive them, ask for their forgiveness, make a cd for them, write out some cool verses that might encourage them, leave a note on their pillow, take out their trash, help them back out of a parking space...I could go on and on. They come in all shapes and sizes folks.
At the end of the day just knowing that you did the "doing" first is a blessing all on its own. You took the opportunity to be kind, selfless, and thoughtful to someone. Being kind, selfless and thoughtful are true blessings. I challenge you-as well as myself- to be a blessing. Give to others...share with others...see how good it feels. If you have the opportunity TAKE IT!!! You will be blessed.

**tap-tap** Is This Thing On?

We have all heard phrases like "bite your tongue", "think before you speak", "God gave you two ears and one mouth". I, myself, practice these on a daily basis...well I TRY to-how bout that? The bible even gives us a strong warning on what turmoil our mouths can get us into. At some point I think we have lost how much meaning words...no, no, no, not just words-OUR words can have in our lives. The words that are coming out of MY mouth. I think along the way we have been made to feel that keeping silent is the best way. I do believe that in some cases this is true but we have adopted this belief and we carry that silence over in to areas where we don't need to do so. 

Goals, beliefs, ideas, dreams, mottos, changes are often kept silent because we think someone will make fun of us or maybe even judge us by the exact words we have just said. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to ask for forgiveness from someone. It's hard to decide to go back to school. It's hard to tell someone you love them for the first time or the 100th time for some. But I believe that saying it is the first step. Whatever your "IT" is, get it out. Keep saying it. Don't just say it once. Stand on it! Become it. Believe it. 

This has been my first step in the whole "Be Blessed? Be A Blessing!!!" change that I am experiencing. With the issues that I have been facing the past two years I held onto some very destructive, dirty, and disgusting feelings. They held me captive from the person I really wanted to be. They wouldn't allow me to move further. You know what I did...LAID DOWN IN IT. Like a pig in the mud. I stayed there. In my heart I didn't want to be there but I couldn't move. UNTIL I SAID IT!!

I felt in my heart what I had to do and I SAID IT. Well...uh hmm (clear the throat) I AM saying it. I have been telling everyone what changes I want to make. What a difference I want this year and ultimately the rest of my life to be about. I feel there is a power in stating things. Look at how powerful wedding vows are (or are supposed to be). Remember when we took the Pledge of Allegiance every morning-those are powerful words we said. We may not have understood them at 8 years old but we said them...hand over heart...in unison. 

Change isn't easy for everyone. It hasn't been for me. Its easy to stay in the mud. It's hard to decide to be different. It's hard to start making those changes. But do you know what happens when you do? You inspire others. They may not tell you. But again-they may. But regardless, believe me, you are inspiring somebody~somewhere. That my friends is a blessing all on it's on. 

Today I cleared the air with someone that I really hadn't spoken to in almost a year. I decided to put into motion the ME I want to BE. Forgiveness was granted. And in turn it was asked by me to forgive. Say what? Yes. Someone wanted me to forgive them. How humbling (and I only speak of myself) it was to be asked to do that. I was not expecting it. The air feels lighter. Not so thick anymore.

So what does all this mean? What's the point? This will not be a dormant year for this white girl! I have SAID it and now I will DO it. Is it hard? Sure. Staying still...in the same cluster of nothing would be easy for me. Holding on to all of this that has been locked up is just what the devil would want. I don't want him to have the power of me anymore. My words have become my motivation. Telling others about my goals have become my map. Today was a start. But at least the engine is running. I have many, many miles to go. I'm sure I'll need to refuel and I'll bet a dollar that my GPS will scream "recalculating" more then once. But I'm going for it. I was blessed today and I am thankful.

Getting it out...

For the past...two years I feel like my life, my family, my faith has been under attack. Attack from outsiders, insiders, upsiders, downsiders-you get the point. I have had battles that I never thought I would have in my life. I have learned more things then I ever thought I would. The most important thing I have learned (technically I am STILL learning) is about myself. I wanted to share that with you. If you are reading this, congratulations. You have stepped on this train or half-built box derby car with me!! 

Since before Christmas I have been thinking about my life and what I want it to be. How do I want people to see me, take me? Then we started a class during Sunday school about forgiveness. WOW! I have been brought to my knees during this class. At first, with some of the issues my family has faced, I started thinking about "them" (the people that needed MY forgiveness-Ha!) but then it was as if Jesus gave me a HUGE magnifying glass and then showed me to myself in the very well lit mirror. I realize that I am the one who needs to be forgiven. Forgiven by others for things I may not even know exist and then the CONTINUAL forgiveness from God. The class is amazing and has created a revelation in me.

Since then I have had this saying or motto of "BE BLESSED? BE A BLESSING!!!" in my brain and couldn't shake it. With the New Year, I have developed a new method of thinking. A new way of life. I am not talking about doing things with the idea of what I may gain. But doing things for others that may in turn help them, show them, or make them get a glimpse of what God has been trying to show us all along with nothing but the satisfaction that I have been ABLE to do this or that for others (or myself).

No, this blog will not be a preaching episode for me. But will I use God and his Word as reference? ABSOLUTELY. He is using me in this big ole world. I see it only fitting to return the favor. This thing will NOT be error free. I have a degree in graphic design...my English class consisted of passing around a clay pot and writing a poem about it (LOVED IT!!). I don't know where commas go or the difference between "then" and "than". But what this will be is a journey for me and whoever decides to read this about life and the power God gives us NOW to help others in this fast moving, unloving, confusing, chaotic world. It will be about trying to be a good person, wife, mother, daughter, friend-whatever title I need to put. I hope it will be funny (I just told my doctor that I needed a new batch of pain meds cause I had to sell the first batch she gave me-hee hee), kind, but most of all-uplifting. I hope you will share your comments, journeys, lessons, and anything else you want to share. I need ALL the help I can get. :)

And so it begins...